am i really?

My goal was a 3 day Master Cleanse (lemonade fast), but here I am on day 4. Basically there are three things you consume, salt water, lemonade (lemons/grade B maple syrup/cayenne pepper) and senna tea.

I wake up an hour early before work (6am) to do the a salt water flush. This is 32 oz. of warm salt water drank within 5 minutes, filling up the stomach to capacity. Its a form of laxative. The first day I did it I used 2 TBS instead of 2 TSP of salt and was throwing up and heaving on the bathroom floor. I was breaking into nauseous sweats on the subway to work.

It was only the first morning, but all the talk about heightened senses were already influencing my pickiness about smells and sounds, not a good thing in dirty new york city.

Day 2 I just drank senna tea instead of doing the salt water flush and that afternoon I found out I had used the wrong amount of salt. The one thing about how disgusting the first day was that all i wanted was sweet lemonade for the rest of the day. I love the lemonade it is the ultimate drink and despite hearing that if you keep drinking it while not fasting it can be less effective during the fast I’m going to keep drinking it. I don’t know if i’ll do this fast again any time soon as i’ll be on the healthiest possible diet after i’m done.

Done, done? When? My goal was 3 and now on Day 4 its 5 mostly because of the emotional toll its taking. I’m not sure if i am indeed turning into a “crazy psycho-bitch” or whether i am gaining clarity and have stronger convictions because of it. i'm leaning toward clarity.

i’m very worried about 10 days, but i’m thinking that i’ll make it. I’m no longer hungry. Stomach massages really help during the SWF. All the pain is pretty temporary, but i’m finding i have way more energy in the morning than in the afternoon when i start to slog at my desk dying to curl up in bed. I’ve been distracting myself with lots of beauty products. Papaya masks, grapefruit sea salt scrubs, eaucalyptus soap (sp?).